Search sqlserver-dba.com
Follow sqlserver-dba.com
*Use the Comments section for questions
SQLServer-DBA.com Links
Recent Posts
- The current transaction cannot be committed and cannot support operations that write to the log file. Roll back the transaction.
- How to find privilege changes with SQL Server Default Trace
- sys.dm_server_services - How to check if SQL Server service is running or not?
- Msg 3023, Level 16, State 2 Backup, file manipulation operations (such as ALTER DATABASE ADD FILE) and encryption changes on a database must be serialized. Reissue the statement after the current backup or file manipulation operation is completed.
- Can we restore a database to an older version in SQL Server?
- How do I save all SQL Agent Jobs
- How to view SQL Server mount point space without access to server
- DBCC SHRINKFILE: page could not be moved because it is a work table page.
- SQL Agent Last Modified explanation
- Sql certificate chain was issued by an authority that is not trusted
DBA jokes
31 January,2016 by Tom Collins
Life as a DBA can get stressful, so I decided to do a quick survey of colleagues working near me, of DBA jokes they know. Some are DBA, others are network engineers and hardware specialists. I felt very left outer.. as I didn’t know any jokes , but they seemed to know a few.
WARNING: Some of these jokes are awful. Read at your own risk
John (DBA): "How many developers work at your office?"
Gary (DBA): "Mmm, about half of them!"
-----
How many Agile Developers does it take to change a lightbulb?
It isn't just the lightbulb that needs changing, the all the wiring must be redone
-----
Two packets walk into a bar
One of the packets asks the bartender for a drink, and gets no response
The other packet tries and the bartender shrugs him off
One packet leans to the other and says "The quality of service here is terrible!"
-----
Q: How many hardware engineer does it take to change in a lightbulb?
A: None, it's a software problems
------
A Query walked into a bar and was soon surrounded by subQueries - it was then he realized he had walked into an Array Bar.
-----
Two SQL Server DBAs walk to a NoSQL bar, but they had to leave because they couldn't find any tables!
-----
Q: Why do you never ask SQL developers to help you move your furniture?
A: They sometimes drop the tables
-----
What is the difference between God and a DBA?
God doesn't think he's a DBA..
-----
"A man walks into a bar and sees two tables. He picked those two tables after performing a full scan of the other tables in the room. Says 'Can I join you?'"
-----
Q: Why did it take God only 7 days to create the universe?
A: There wasn't any legacy code
Once you've stopped laughing and want to add to the SELECT tion, post a comment below
Read More on DBA time management
7 habits of highly effective DBAs - SQL Server DBA
DBA and the end of time management
SQL Server – DBA productivity and less is more
Author: Tom Collins (http://www.sqlserver-dba.com)
Share:
Verify your Comment
Previewing your Comment
This is only a preview. Your comment has not yet been posted.
As a final step before posting your comment, enter the letters and numbers you see in the image below. This prevents automated programs from posting comments.
Having trouble reading this image? View an alternate.
Posted by: |